3 Songs I’m Ruining

Aug 5:  I have to pick a song for Angela and I to sing together since she said she’d record something with me before the end of the month.  We’ve exchanged an email or two on the subject but haven’t landed on a song yet.  I spend most of my drive to work listening to various praise songs trying to find one that sounds achievable.  I figure if you’re singing for the Lord, who can criticize, right?  I sing the first 45 seconds to a lot of songs before I realize I just sound bad…unless the volume is up really high.  So I just turn the volume up louder.  I now see why they say to do vocal warm ups (as if that was really going to help me at this point).  I’m still feeling an underlying excitement about the thoughts of Angela and I singing together though.  I’m still on a high from my first real lesson ever last week and wonder if we’ll record something at her house where her and Joe teach lessons or if it’ll be at the school where she teaches/I’m a student.

Aug 6:  I found a hymn song that sounded doable.  I nail the lines I know (with headphones in) and mumble through the ones I don’t.  I realize what Angela told me about, most songs are just repeats of the same notes over and over.  I can hardly wait until my lesson next week.  I start wondering if I should take piano too.

Aug 7:  There’s no better time to practice singing than when you’re stuck in traffic going to Whole Foods.  I spent 50 minutes in stop-and-go traffic belting out the sweet sounds of Pink along with the hymn song I recently found – I debate back and forth which would sound better with Angela and I singing together.  I envision me sitting next to her on a piano stool while we sing.  I had headphones in so I couldn’t hear myself, but based on how good the sounds were in my ears, I’m pretty sure I nailed both songs!  And I ate a healthy dinner!  What can’t I do?!

Aug 8: My main “rehearsal” space at this point is my car.  I can’t risk Chris walking in on my vocal warm-ups.  I did some of the vocal warm ups I remembered from a previous YouTube video and from my first official singing lesson ever in my life.  I realize I haven’t practiced “Feed the Birds” all week.  Ah!  I go to our annual block party where I learn a neighbor majored in voice/theater.  I feel myself getting overly confident in my singing skills but I don’t care.  I’ve convinced myself I’m really good and imagine singing with friends and neighbors alike at upcoming bonfires.  If only I still had my guitar from college….

Aug 9:  I still owed Angela a song pick, ugh, I should’ve been a little more prepared.  Day 9 and I don’t know what song will be my big singing debut and we haven’t even practiced together.  Or ever heard each other sing 1 note.  All I’m working with is the fact that she said she’s also an alto.  I hope her little alto voice is louder and more powerful than mine and it drowns me out.

I decide to play Chris the 3 songs I’m considering.  And…..the fear is back!  I started feeling antsy just playing songs for him even though I wasn’t going to be singing them in that moment.  I was just imagining him imagining me singing them and I was already embarrassed.  I play him the 3 songs and he tells me which he thinks would probably be easier compared to the others and I take off running to the bathroom with a stomach ache.  This is real life people.

I was closing in on the time that I needed to leave for yoga so I decide there’s no more time for dilly-dallying around, so I email Angela every possible day/time I could get together this month to practice along with the 3 songs.

I put one headphone in while I’m driving to yoga and play all 3 songs and sing to each one – leaving the other ear free so I could actually hear myself.  I sounded horrible.  I decided I hate this goal and facing fears is dumb.

The 3 songs I’m currently murdering one note at a time but that are up for recording consideration are as follows:

“Lovely” by Sara Haze –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyfMZSaw0i0

“You+Me” by Pink – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNnBcCk7eDA

“Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior” – Red Mountain Church – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cnL_CY_sRI

Here’s to my second week.  My next real lesson is in 2 days.  Lord….work some magic in my vocal chords!