Before the Noise

Jan 14, 4:45am…my alarm went off, I decided to lay there for a few extra minutes.  A “few” turned into 30 minutes of me fading in and out of sleep.  I’m realizing that 5:15am-ish is my “sweet spot.”  Well, as sweet of a spot as you can have when it comes to waking up early.  I don’t know if it’s that I like to lay there awake for a little while before I actually get up, or if I’m just actually more awake 30 minutes later than the time my alarm goes off.  I got up and put my workout clothes on that I had at the foot of the bed.  They were the same clothes I wore to the gym the day before.  Eh.  I grabbed my almonds and water and headed out.  It’s just so cold.  If there’s anyone that’s considering waking up early like this but tells themselves they can’t because it’s so cold….I understand.  I’m fortunate to have a garage to park in at home and now a self-appointed space that I call “mine” at the gym that’s close to the door.  If I had to park outside overnight – I just don’t know if I could do it.  I lifted chest and did some cardio and decided Starbucks was the better option over Tim Horton’s on the way home because their coffee seriously is the perfect temperature.  I don’t have to wait and baby my coffee for 45 minutes before I can drink it.  Plus, I don’t have the temptation of Tim Horton’s donuts if I go to Starbucks.  I came home and got ready for work and made it there by 8:30am.  I’m slacking on my 8:15am arrival time goal.  I’m still in the zone where it’s early enough that I can feel like I can get myself organized and started before most are in, but I’m sure the extra lounge time after my alarm goes off isn’t helping my arrival time at work.  This will be my second full work week with this schedule and I can tell you that Wednesday at 3:30pm is my wall.  I find that I am just flat out tired.  I’m glad that I didn’t have a second workout planned for tonight because I just need to rest so I can still maintain this into Thursday and Friday.  I wouldn’t say it’s the type of tired where I’m going to go home and fall asleep right away (I’m kind of an anti-nap person unless I’ve just run some sort of distance that exceeds 10 miles.  I’d rather just go to bed early at night than have this random 1-2 hour chunk of time in my day where I slept and will never regain my full energy again until the next day).  I’m not proud to admit that when I get tired, that’s when I start to have mini meltdowns…similar to a 4 year old who refuses to go to bed but is too tired for her own good.  I started down this path the other night when I was switching laundry at 9:45pm (ugh, why did I wait so late) and noticed I left a tissue in one of my pockets that was now wet and shredded all over my work pants in the washer.  All it takes is a tiny tissue and any time after 9pm and all perspective is lost.  I was doing a little negative self-talk and after 5 minutes…you know…”everything” was exhausting, or “nothing” was going right, or there’s “always” an issue with blah blah (I tend to you use extreme words when I’m in these mindsets).  Chris is always a good reality check for me, reminding me why the next day will be better or why that moment isn’t really that big of a deal, or sometimes just agreeing and saying “oh, yeah, that does suck.”  Or he just flies his new drone around the laundry room door for entertainment purposes which always lightens the mood.  Tomorrow I will need to use all the knowledge I have from an Energy Management training I’ve done through work because I’m doing cardio in the morning, the majority of my work day includes meetings, and then I’m lifting back with my trainer after work.  At 14 days in (other than the tissue in the washer moment) I still have a positive mindset, I’m still enjoying the early workouts, and I’d still say my productivity has increased.  I have a couple friends who said they want to wake up earlier after they’ve read this blog, and Chris said it’s helping him get up earlier too….those things keep me going.  One thing I’ve learned about myself through this process is how I speak about things determines the real outcome, because I pride myself on being the type of person who does what they say they’re going to do.  There are so many things that I’ve said “Well, I’m going to try to….” (“Well, I’m going to try to get to work earlier tomorrow to finish that assignment,”  “Well, I’m going to try to workout after work”) and 85% of the time, if I include “try” in my sentence, that means I’m already giving myself an out and likely won’t do it but feel better because at least I’m vocalizing that I have some sort of good intention.  I noticed that when I say “I am…..” then I actually do.  When I say “I am getting up at 4:45am in January” then I actually get up at 4:45am in January.  If I say “I am going to lift with my trainer on Thursday” then I actually lift with my trainer on Thursday.  It’s such a small thing, but a personal thing I’ve noticed about myself and something that makes a big difference in my mindset and actions.  All of this is just a mindset.

Jan 15, 4:45am….my alarm went off, ugh.  Thursday morning after not going to bed until a little after 11pm because I was too busy venting about a report I couldn’t figure out for work.  I was only (“only” not meant to downplay my efforts) doing cardio this morning since I was lifting back with my trainer after work.  It’s typically a little easier to get to the gym on those days because lifting in the morning requires a little extra “umph” in my opinion.  My friend Katie told me the day before that she was going to be at the gym in the morning and just wanted to tell me for accountability purposes.  In turn, I had to be there because I told her I’d be there too.  That was my main motivation to actually get there today.  Accountability, or reverse accountability, or something….either way, I was there by 5:30am (someone was in “my” parking space) and she was already going strong on the treadmill.  I ran a couple miles and then did the same routine I’ve blogged about the last 14 days.  There was coffee, there was too much rest time on the couch before heading to work, and there was me showing up for work now at 8:40am.  That 8:15am start time has just slipped and slipped.  By 4pm today my face was red and hot, which I do sometimes when I’m really busy combined with tired.  I was pretty tired but got a second wind enough to lift with my trainer where she told me that her boss/trainer told her about 15 years ago that when she has to wake up early – she should do 1 squat right when she gets up.  She said she’s been doing that for 15 years.  I didn’t ask any further questions, but told her I’d start doing that tomorrow.  So I guess this is pretty much the halfway mark for this January goal.  I’ve found in the evenings (if I’m in bed by 9:30-10:00pm) I actually am starting to look forward to 5am-7am.  I heard it referred to as the “holy hour” or “power hour” the other day on either some article or video I saw online about waking up early (I’m not researching the topic, I swear….it was probably just in someone’s facebook feed), but they went on to say that it’s a couple extra hours you get before the world wakes up, before people start texting you, before emails start coming in.  It’s true.  I am using my “power hour” for workouts, but the reason my start time for work as been slowly creeping later is due to the fact that I just like sitting and drinking coffee without all that noise we invite in all day.