Only Pity Parties & Birthday Parties with Your Girlfriends Happen Over Chips & Salsa

Mar 8…Sunday.  Main things on the agenda were yoga with Angela (supporting her 31 days of yoga goal), lunch at NorthStar Cafe, quick scan at the mall for “must haves” (mascara),  grocery, and returning home in time to relieve Chris of his duties of hanging with the guy who was installing our backsplash.  Sidenote – gray glass subway tile backsplash, yes!  I started this super cheesy yet simple-things-that-other-people-end-up-writing-books-about-and-get-rich type of thing in my phone, even prior to this month’s goal, where I type “one thing that would make today awesome is….” and I fill in the blank late at night for the next day.  Just 1 thing.  I normally can think of a million things, a lot that I can’t control (like winning the lottery), but I keep it to one thing and think of it like ‘even if the rest of the day was bad, if this one thing happened I’d call it a win.’  So my 1 thing (am I supposed to type “1” or “one”…I forget, and I keep changing it mid-sentence?  I know there’s a rule if the number is less than 10….or ten….or something).  Anyway, my 1 thing for Sunday was making sure I was off all my devices by 9pm.  So even though I did spend a couple hours working and caught up on laundry and other non-blog worthy chores….I was off devices by 9pm and slept great.  It was pretty easy not to complain this day.  I even spared myself the internal complaints about feeling out of shape by eating super healthy and wearing overpriced lulu lemon pants that are so tight and go so high up on your waist you feel like you’re pretty much wearing spanx.

Mar 9…Monday.  Throwback goal!  My a$$ was at the gym by 5:30am.  What what!  I was really starting to get into the ‘help myself’ groove and managed to get a workout in early which also doubled as allowing myself extra time at night to stay late at work to get caught up/work ahead, I ate healthy, and other than at 5:45pm when I said “I’m almost done with this stupid assignment….I mean…..assignment” I did a pretty good job.  Matter of fact, I was happy and probably mentally patted myself on the back too much for the morning workout.

Interesting fact that I’ve over-analyzed for 2 weeks:  Chris says I was happiest in January when I was waking up at 4:45am everyday.

Mar 10….and let the meltdown begin.  10 days.  That’s it.  I was so strong.  Yesterday I was all ‘early morning workouts, new boots with heels, accessorizing my work outfit with jewelry, life is awesome’ and around 5pm today the complaints starting filling my head.  Sigh.  Work was so busy.  If you haven’t gotten the vibe by now from past posts – most of my work days are 6-8 hours of meetings.  My Grandma, who used to be an Executive Secretary to the President of a company, said that her boss used to say any meeting over 15 minutes was a waste of time.  This is also the same Grandma that sent me out into the working world with a crystal candy dish and a bag of chocolates and said “put chocolate on your desk, people will like you more.”  Anyway, I don’t mind the meetings, and I don’t mind the busy, but something flipped at the end of the day.  I ended up staying later than I had planned, there was rain, there was traffic, there was me starving, there was me watching my Zumba plans go out the window, and there was a detour to a Mexican restaurant and a waiter who called me “princess” no less than 22 times.  I got myself back in check after about an hour and too many calories.  I realized a lot of what I was doing was not complaining, but defending my work or my approach to something I had worked on – as if anyone was questioning, asking, or doubting me?  I know from observing Chris, and now I’m seeing it in myself, neither of us like when our dedication or work ethic is in question.  No one was doing that to me but somewhere between 5pm and queso…I guess I thought they were?  Whoever “they” is?  How many times are you complaining or having fake fights in your head about things that aren’t happening in reality?  Here’s to trying again tomorrow.  When I got to the chips and salsa….I knew it had gone too far.  Adios amigos.