There’s a Hair In My Food (and it matches my hair color)

June 12:  Baked Penne with Ricotta

So…I caught a little crap from someone at work (you know who you are) saying that my last blog post that included my asparagus “recipe” was (in his words) more of an “after school snack” than a recipe.  He claims that each recipe needs to have at least more than 3 ingredients.  Ugh.  I’m already working off poor planning and then trying to find things that are new and then I feel like I can’t make all my normal healthy meals because I’m trying to do these meals, blah blah blah.  What do you people want from me?!  Ah!  ::dries hands dramatically on dish towel::

In any case, here’s my attempt to throw out some “real” recipes.

I actually gave myself bonus points for making this recipe while simultaneously making spaghetti for a neighbor who was in a car accident.  It was pasta-fest up in my kitchen on this Friday night.

Here’s what went into this dish…

-1 box of organic wheat penne pasta

-1lb of ground turkey

-1 can of organic tomatoes

-1 cup of ricotta cheese

-1 clove of garlic

-1 cup (aka a couple of my handfuls) of mozzarella cheese

-italian seasoning

-1 egg

I cooked the penne pasta in a pot and cooked the ground turkey in a skillet.  I sauteed the garlic in it’s own pan and then added the can of tomatoes and italian seasoning to that pan after a minute or two of stirring the garlic around.  In a bowl, I mixed the ricotta, mozzarella, and the egg.

There were some directions about how to place it all in the pan, but I just combined it all in one big bowl and then put it in a disposable foil container to bake it (I had an extra one of those pans from the set I bought to deliver the meal to my neighbor and I had a sparkle in my eye when I realized that would mean one less dish to wash when I was done).

I baked it for 30 minutes on 375 degrees.

The original recipe didn’t have meat and included a few other things (like basil) that I didn’t include out of feeling cheap and cutting corners wherever possible, because that’s what it’s all about.  I’d give this dish maybe a 6 or 7 out of 10.  It was good but I could’ve used either 2 cans of tomatoes or added marinara on it.  Not the healthiest dish in the world, but hopefully it ups my kitchen cred.

You’re welcome for the glare on these items so you can’t actually read what they are.

Penne ingredients

No reason why these 3 items are together in a pic, I just forgot to put them in the original ingredient pic.

Penne ingredients 2

The picture I sent to the person “bullying” my kitchen skills.  And yes, I was simultaneously feeling angst about the mess on the island while I was taking this picture.


I swear it was prettier in real life.  50 points for disposable pans!

Penne cooked

This isn’t a dish Chris would really eat based on his clean-food lifestyle, so now I’m on a noodle-binge for a couple days.

June 13:  Summer Vegetable Pasta Salad

You basically qualify as a real woman once you learn how to make a pasta salad.  You’re a goddess if you can make a pie.  Pasta salad is SO neighborhood-block-party-middle-class-I-just-happen-to-have-this-recipe-and-these-ingredients-and-I-wear-cute-summer-clothes type of dish.  Ladies, you know what I’m sayin’.

I’ve never made pasta salad but have spent many ‘a picnics and block parties eating around the vegetables and devouring all the noodles I could get my plastic fork to stab.

-1/4 cup olive oil (it was supposed to be a little less because you’re supposed to also use vegetable oil but I was making my own rules)

-1/3 cup red wine vingear

-zucchini (I decided to add this)


-roma tomatoes (are those roma tomatoes in my picture?  I don’t know?)

-parsley (until it looks pretty which is my official parsley-type of measurements)

-12 oz of bow tie pasta (I’ve never seen the word “farfalle” but that’s what my pasta box says?)

-broccoli (I used half the bag in the pic)

Cook the pasta and let it cool.  This requires patience to wait until it cools.  I put it in the fridge after I cooked it and went ahead and mixed it with everything else when it was lukewarm-ish.  It turned out fine.

In a small bowl I mixed the olive oil, red wine vinegar, and the parsley.

I chopped up all the vegetables and put in 1 big bowl.

I poured the “cool” noodles in the bowl with the vegetables and then poured the oil mix over that and used tongs to toss it around.

I now have what feels like 5 tons of pasta salad.  I’m a real woman.

pasta salad ingredients

pasta salad

June 14:  Old Fashioned Oatmeal Cake

Ugh, I don’t even want to tell you guys what happened here.

Clearly, I think that using oatmeal is solving the worlds problems, or at least my cooking problems.  This is like dish 500 that I’ve tried to make some sort of snack-breakfast-dinner-type of dish by using oatmeal and forgetting I don’t own flour.

I honestly don’t even remember the real measurements, but here goes…

-1 cup brown sugar (ah!)

-1 cup real sugar (double ah!)

-some eggs

-some oats

-1/3 c heavy whipping cream (though it told me to use some sort of other cream)

-1 c coconut

-1/2 of that butter that’s in the picture

-blob of baking soda

-vanilla that comes out too fast

1/2 of this went into the cake portion and half of this went into the “icing.”  Honestly, it smelled amazing.  Matter of fact, the first few bites were amazing.  If you feel so inclined to make it, I would recommend working off the real recipe via google and not what I have here (insert false sense that someone is actually documenting and executing on my recipes).  Anyway, I didn’t even see the word “flour” on the recipe originally, so this was another dish I went ahead and made without it – and it honestly was no biggy.

After binging on a long section of this “cake” I felt so blah.  I can’t really do high sugar stuff so I was already feeling like you do when you go to a toddlers birthday party and eat too much sheet cake because you don’t know what else to do while you’re there.

Anyway, as I was cutting it into pieces (note – it’s not like it was cake consistency since I didn’t add flour), I found 1 single strand of hair.  This was the only dish I’ve made where I didn’t pull my hair up in a bun and there was the evidence staring back at me.  I felt like a dirty 1 star restaurant.

I threw the rest away.

I don’t want to talk about it.

oatmeal cake ingredients

oatmeal cake

June 15:  Caramelized Honey Banana

Okay, this straight up qualifies as an “after school snack” per my chit chat above.  I have had this recipe on my Pinterest page forever in hopes of just making these amazing little bananas one day only to have Chris go “oh wow, what are these?  These look so good.”

-1 banana sliced

-drizzle of honey

-a few shakes of cinnamon

I put all of those items in a skillet.  I started to wonder about 30 seconds into it how I was going to flip the banana slices because they were so mushy (clue #1).   After they were sizzling and the honey was starting to look enticing – I decided to reference the actual recipe (clue #2).  It said to bake them (clue #3).  Lovely.  I searched Pinterest again because I could’ve sworn I had seen them in a skillet…and I was right.  So some “recipes” said skillet and others said bake.

No need to drag this on.  They looked like and tasted like snot.  I discarded all evidence of their existence before Chris got home.

banana ingredients

When I first tossed them in and still had hope.

bananas cooking

When I realized I have a food blog about snot bananas that look like scallops.

bananas cooked

June 16:  Spinach, Egg, and Cheese Bake

This looked like the perfect dinner/breakfast option for both Chris and I (with the exception of the cheese that he won’t eat, but I told myself if I only added a little he would still eat it, maybe).

-8 eggs (I ended up using 10)

-3 or 4 green onions

-1.5 c of cheese (I just used as much as I saw fit – which was more than the “little bit” I originally planned for Chris’ sake)

-1/2 bag of spinach (I didn’t even look at how much I was supposed to use and was totally too lazy to wilt it in a skillet before placing in the casserole dish)

I placed the spinach on the bottom of a casserole dish, spread some cheese on top of it, sprinkled the chopped up green onions on it, poured the eggs I had whisked over-top.  I obviously used too much spinach because the egg didn’t cover it all up, which is why I added 2 more eggs.  See how easy these remedies are for non-measurements?!

Baked at 375 for 35 minutes.  Maybe 33 minutes because I’m one of those people.

It’s cooling as I type so no word yet on the finished product other than I swear this one is prettier in real life too.

egg bake ingredients

egg dish

16 days in.  This goal is annoying.  And inconvenient.  And I still have 2 billion pounds of pasta salad in the fridge.  But I’ll keep pressing on….which reminds me…I think I need to buy a garlic press.  Just cause.